SteamPunkAssProm

My mom suggested that I go to prom dressed in steam punk fashion and I am considering it very seriously. I mean I want to go to prom because it is a right of passage, but why not make an event of it? Besides it is just junior prom anyway, and it doesn't matter so why not? It doesn't have to lame. I wish my mom could have told me this sooner because it would be so cool to get a whole group of people dressed steampunk for prom.

I am pretty sure this isn't going to happen, but what if it did? I really want it too.

P.S. The Bio AP is first thing tomorrow and I am not prepared, ha, this will be fun. It was such a dumb idea to take it, like really dumb.

them strangers.

have the biggest impact.

"When you die, others die too" - ZRGM 4/4/10

Astronaut.

So Kathleen and I were going to make this awesome movie, but it didn't happen...yet. Don't get discouraged folks, it could still happen. I hope it still happens. It was gonna be so cute, it would be like another 24 hour video challenge. I also decided that an astronaut wears suspenders. Anyway to keep you amused until this remarkable film is made here are some astro - space drawings to tide you over.

P.S. The first picture says "It's 2010, does it seem like the future yet?"

P.P.S. I am wearing a space invaders shirt. I thought it was appropriate.

ghosts.

Life is Good

If life is in Paris.



-February 20th, 2010

It's soooooo soon!!!

The Big Blue Button.

Today I was taken to the ADHD clinic. It basically proved that I didn't have to go. They basically told me for the 1000th time that I should stop trying to pretend I have a mental disability and I just gave them the same look. I didn't cry, and I didn't point my fingers, or yell, or run away screaming, instead I sat there and humored them and pressed their Big Blue Button. I didn't tell them that I was taken there against my will, not that I protested. I never protest, if I did it would be in a very disrespectful way, and that isn't what my parents deserve (they are trying to help), even if they are telling me that I am a failure. Even if they are telling me that it isn't my fault I'm dumb, it is my brain's. Even if I know that isn't true. This is at least the 5th time I have been through this, and this is at least the 5th time a whole board of "experts" have told my parents that I am "just perfectly normal" "doing exceedingly well" "average". Then why is this the only time they are going to except it, no wait, they aren't they aren't excepting it, they are just giving up. Thank God. I could not take one more person I don't know telling me about me, I could not face another board of strangers and having to tell them why I am wrong in the head.
On the way home I said to my mom. "I knew this was going to happen, it was pointless to go." She said "It wasn't pointless" she said, slightly joking "It let us know that you are perfect." I said angry and joking at the same time "What if I already knew?!" She said cheerily "Well, then it was a confidence boost!" I said "I don't see why we went." She said we HAD to." I thought: HAD TO? what does that mean? Why did we have to? I could have told her that this accommodation wasn't going to happen. I hated going through this, and I hated that the doctors all believed it was me asking for help, when I never thought about it, ever. Thank God it is Over.


Some of the prettiest words:
silhouette
mystery
seventeen

each one a little more than he could dare to try

have you ever imagined someone that you are going to meet in the future? like if you are going to a new place you think of the possible friends you might make, and the possible more than friends you might meet.
have you ever had a dream with someone in it who you have known forever, but when you wake up you realize you have never met such a person they just exist in your dreams. have you ever seen someone and mentally noted that you are going to be friends one day. has one of your predictions ever come true?

have you ever wondered if you were someone's prediction, dream, or even perfect person that they have been looking for all their life? i have, just now.

solitude.

Sometimes I can't wait to live alone.

I can watch the shittiest shows and no one will judge me.

I can eat whatever, whenever.

I can clean up my way.

My whole house will be decorated by me.

I can sleep in a nest every night.

I get to sing in the shower. I can blast music and dance along.

If I ever live alone it will probably be the only time I would consider owning a treadmill.

I could have friends over. I could throw really dumb parties to celebrate stupid things, like getting a discount on cheese.

I can have a dog. I can have a Great Dane.
He can protect me in case I make a stupid decision and watch a scary movie.

Sometimes I think living alone would be really scary.

I would probably get really fat. or really skinny.

I would have to lock my door 1 million times with one million locks.

I should probably live in an apartment just so I am not totally alone.

Quotes

"I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in the front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late."

"It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands
They'll think you're cocky."

"If I can't be beautiful, I want to be invisible"

"Your birth is a mistake you'll spend your whole life trying to correct."

"Maybe we have to break everything to make something better out of ourselves."

"My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, so...yeah'."

"Second date, or dinner? This is the cannibal's dilemma."

"Ignore your rights and they will go away"

"Well behaved women seldom make history"

"If you ever get bit by a radioactive peacock, you might die- or you might turn into a superhero with the most fabulous costume ever."

"A chest bump is almost never the appropriate way to say 'Thanks for the coffee'."

Random Breakfast Chicken Blood Inspired By Chickens.

Like my title? Its a mash up of some things that happened today, just one of the longest days of my life. I have been having the longest days of my life for what seems like a month now, but I know it is only about two weeks.

Anyway I gave up on this blog, but I'm back, so Hello Blog! and minimal followers, who don't really need to read my blog because they see me more than my mother does.

Today starts with yesterday.
Yesterday 5th block. After a week in which I was ready to snap, and I did (once), and a week just like that preceding it, I became extremely grateful for the following. (Sorry if you have heard this story a few hundred times, but as I said: the followers of this blog see me more than my own mother does)
THE FOLLOWING: We were in the middle of SUPA Bio when Brian Allen says to Ms. Ali. "Ms. Ali, you should make me pancakes." To which she basically said "Okay, as long as you don't make fun of my cooking." That was the catalyst (haha I am learning!) for what turned into a totally random breakfast party for absolutely no reason other than the fact that Brian had been craving pancakes. It was great, our class is tiny so we feasted when it came time to eat (meaning today), there were giant pancakes, butter, syrup, jam, cobbler (made by me), brownies, hot chocolate, orange juice, apple juice, chips, etc. It was so satisfying to have one break in the middle of the busiest time of year.

There were some other things that happened today, like this dumb jeopardy game in English, which I guess isn't dumb, I just don't like jeopardy games, especially when my team is failing by an embarrassing amount and it looks like it is my fault. Then there was this guest speaker from OCRRA who spoke during health, she felt the need to pause at least three seconds after every single word she said, so I fantasized about spontaneous combustion, because at least that would be interesting.

The Blood Drive.
All week long I have been eating more, trying to gain weight. Although I haven't had that much time to eat, so I have basically been maintaining a stable weight. I worked out all sorts of plans, but I did not expect that I would have to be obese to donate blood, but that is the requirement. So of course, being turned down from doing something I teared up and had to run to the bathroom to collect myself. I kept my head down when I passed teachers I knew, but I still had an avocado pit stuck in my throat. When I got to my SAT class, the 4 kids in there asked where I was and I choked out the answer. They said I was selfless, but then I thought about it. I know I want to give blood to save lives, but I don't know why I am so intent on it. There are other things I can do to save a life. I mean I want to give blood, and I used to pray that I would be O so I could give more blood. I didn't even think that it would mean if I ever needed blood it might be hard to get until someone mentioned it to me.

Okay this last part shouldn't be short, but it will be cuz I'm done.
Annie's Party (after rehearsal of course) it was so fun. It was like we were one big happy, yelly, slightly dysfunctional family. I enjoyed that, and if I don't have a voice at all tomorrow that is perfectly okay, because tonight was fun.

Bye Blog and Followers. Maybe I will write again after this post. Probably not, actually probably yes, but not right away.

Zoe

P.S. I just decided to make an art blog, you should follow it. http://somework-zoe.blogspot.com/