addiction

i am addicted to doing things.
i cannot stop. Can't stop.

i don't want to talk.
To you.
or anyone. out of context.

but then i am alone
and i don't know what to say
flip the screen
tap tap tap.
can't help it, can't stop.

What do i do? Why do i do?
must i
yes i must.
must
must
lust
trust
is lost

i cannot comprehend
because you cannot comprehend
so i do not know why

i do so much. but i feel better than ever
and i want to do more
more more
everything
and i can do it
do it all
i am so far
just not sleeping
but sleep is for
the dead

oh oh dear
i see it now
i know why
why my mom looks at me that way
i see it now
but it does not feel true
how could it be
but it is
it so is

so soon
but i will not get help
because he said so
he said we are broke
and i know we are
so no help
even if i want it
even if you want it
no
no.