Spring Time in December?

Today it feels like spring. I love spring and I am kind of mad at myself for loving it so much because I want it to snow so badly. Today, even though I have not put one foot outside, was a spring day, the only thing that is unlike spring is the sun. It is still weak and creates shadows that engulf the entire backyard. Longer days make people so much happier, and so does being outside.

If Dino were here I would have taken him for a walk today, a nice long walk in the park. I forgot he was gone for a moment and opened my mouth to yell his name, but I remembered that he wasn't here before I made any noise. Then I suggested that my dad should borrow Holly, the Schaber's dog and take him for a walk. He didn't really listen to my suggestion.

For about two hours this morning I lay in bed with my window open and every time the wind blew a breeze past my head I would inhale deeply. The air tasted so sweet, it was a shame to have to depart with it after every exhale. The sun did not leak into my room, or enter my room with any sort of presence this morning, so if I had not looked outside I would not have seen that the sky was clear. I also would not have seen my neighbor, Jose gardening without a shirt. He is a wonder at making plants grow, he saved our peach tree. Anyway I saw Jose shirtless and that is exactly the reason I opened my window as wide as it could go, I figured it must be in the 50's, in fact it was only mid 40's, but that was still perfect for breathing.

***********************************

I am so excited for this upcoming year, I am going to Paris and I am going on an Archeological dig in Southern Italy. I really hope it happens, it seems like such a dream come true, but it also seems so untouchable. Sometimes I worry about it, I am going to be all alone with a group of mostly men much older then me who speak a language I have almost completely forgotten. My mom usually reminds me that it won't actually be that exact situation, women are there too, and most of the people on the dig speak English. Also my family will probably staying several train rides away in our country home in Northern Italy. Originally I thought this was going to be my first big adventure alone, but I guess not, I will probably be riding in a plan with my family as usual and my cousin might even come back to dig with me, which is great, but he is a very charismatic person and will ruin any chance I had at a true experience. If he doesn't come my parents might force my brother to go, which will be just as bad. JP wants to come too, and my mom said he could, if he paid travel fees, but that wouldn't work either. I want to do this on my own, it is scary to do it by myself, but I need to do it that way.

Then there is Paris, in my more immediate future, which is also more of a promise. We have the tickets and my parents loaded us (my brother and me) with maps, brochures, phrase books, catalogs, etc. all about Paris since that is our big Christmas/Hannukah/Birthday present. We will not be stepping onto foreign soil unprepared. I personally am preparing myself in subtle, but important ways including :

wardrobe (even though I am sure I will get a new one when I am there)
improvements in painting and sketching
watching and reading all of my favorite movies and books having to do with Paris
food, learning about French foods

Anyway, last year was my stupid year and I do believe I lived up to the title, and this year shall be my eye opening year. The one where I become, a better person; better educated, better dressed, more mature, and truly start my journey to becoming a woman. Of course I am not giving up childhood I am just returning back to my former inquisitive and thoughtful nature, that had people believing I was wise beyond my years. This nature probably developed from my constant travel and parties with adults.

Well this is an extremely long post, but I have just had the greatest feeling these past couple days, weeks even, and everything seems to be right, and I feel ready to forget this silly mentally I had. Everything is just so good, or it will be. I can feel it.