Shakespeare Competition.

That was tonight. i don't even know why i cared so much, i think it is the only time i have actually become really cocky about my acting, of course i wasn't showing that i was cocky (hope not at least), but i know i was cocky because i was actually upset when i didn't win anything. i kinda thought i would, even though i didn't do that well tonight. Then when i went for comments it just got worse, and i am pretty sure the judges just hated me as a person because they could tell i was cocky, but i swear it was only today and i will never do it again because it screws me up and i don't deserve it, people don't deserve having to put up with it.

The winners deserved it, and the freshmen stepped it up about 100 points today. A lot of people improved from Friday's rehearsal, it was a bit intimidating.

Fortunately i haven't put much of the blame on anyone, but me, like i did at first for like a minute, but really it was all me. So i just have to remember no blaming or sneering, or sticking out tongues or anything. I really have no fucking idea why i cared about this, i didn't at first.

Anyway when i got home i painted this ugly little thing, but i kinda like it. i still need to work on my painting skills although i think they are getting much better, my mother has no comment, which probably means nothing i have made is portfolio worthy yet.

It would be so nice to dive onto my bed and shelter myself in a conch of warmth and fuzziness. I could cry until my my troubles were forgotten and then dream until death. That would be nice right about now, but i got work to do and life to live.